Ava Brielle: A Letter to My Unborn Daughter

Dear Ava,

I haven’t met you yet. If I’m being honest, I am quite terrified to meet you, only recently have I really started to think about you. I know that sounds bad but hear me out. Until now I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a mother of two. To have to split my undivided attention between two kids. To take what I’ve given solely to your brother for almost 2 years and give it to you. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to love you like I love him.

Things change when you have kids, I know that I mean this isn’t my first go round,

But something about this feels different new in a sense. Maybe it’s because you are a perfectly healthy baby as far as we know and I’m just not use to that. Maybe I’m scared that things will change, so I don’t want to get my hopes up. Maybe I’m afraid of a new beginning I’m not sure. But what I do know now at 30 weeks is that even though you aren’t the one who made me a mother you will be the one to complete me. To complete our family.

My Sweet Ava Brielle God gave me you for a reason, just like he gave me your brother when I was at my lowest to find a purpose. He gave me you to teach me how to love myself again, so that I can teach you to love yourself for who you are. To know that you are worthy, you are beautiful, and to never let anyone define you because you can be whatever it is you want to be. That beauty is in the eye of the beholder and as long as you see yourself as beautiful that’s all that matters. That it’s okay to be kind, it’s okay to not fit in, and it’s okay to follow your own path. Most importantly to teach you to be a Strong proud Black Woman, never be afraid of who you are or where you came from.

At times I wondered if I would be a good mother to you. If I would be capable of loving you unconditionally and giving you the nurturing and affection you deserve. If I would be capable of building a bond with you like I have with your brother. I now know that there is nothing else I rather do. With 10 weeks or less left I am now ready to give you my all. To hold you in my arms and never let you go. I can’t wait to watch you grow and see who you become one day.

I want you to know that I will always be here for you, I will always love you and I will always be your mother. I don’t know who you’ll be, but I know you’ll be my everything.

Until we meet,

Love Mama