To My Son on His First Birthday
First and Foremost, Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.
A year has come and gone faster than I could have ever imagined. It feels like just yesterday you were this tiny little baby who depended on me for everything. Who wanted no one but Mama. I miss the days before you were born where I would just sit in the bathtub, rub my tummy, and tell you to be strong and never stop fighting (Little did I know in your own way you were telling me the same). It was just you and me. I will always cherish those moments. Then, one year ago today, 20 days before your due date @ 5:07pm on a Wednesday, you blessed us with your presence, a strong beautiful baby boy. I had never been so nervous to meet someone in my life but yet, you took my breath away from the moment I laid eyes on you. I was scared to even hold you, this precious little human being with big brown eyes (Like mama), lips just like your daddy and a head full of curly hair. After 35 long hours of imaging what you would look like, I couldn’t have been more mesmerized by just how beautiful you actually were.
From the second you took your first breath, you defeated the odds, and you continued to show everyone just how strong you were and after just 5 days in the NICU I got to take my precious baby home. My miracle baby, the one they told me I could never have bet yet here you are doing better than ever. A year old today and so full of life. So sweet and loving, but yet so goofy and dramatic. You definitely give me a run for my money every day. Some days we cry, some days we laugh, sometimes mama may even get a little angry and yell, for that I am sorry. But no matter what I couldn’t imagine living life without you because “You are the reason that even at the saddest part of my life I smile. You bring me joy when there is no joy to be found. In the darkness you are the light. You give me a purpose to continue a reason to love and a reason to live.”
I love waking up to your sweet smile and those big brown eyes in the morning. To your sweet kisses and you jumping all over mama. I love teaching you and playing with you and watching you grow each and every day. I will forever cherish these moments with you as you grow older every year and no longer need me for things.
This has been one of the most emotional years of my life, yet it has also been one of the best years because I got to spend it with you. I hope even after everything you’ve been through it was a great year for you too. With two open heart surgeries, many doctors appointments, and lots of tears you never let it get you down. My sweet boy always kept a smile on his face, you are the strongest person I know. Giving birth to you will forever be one of my biggest accomplishments in life. If someday you happen to read this I just want you to know that you are enough and I would never change you even if I had the chance, I would take you just the way you are all over again. I want you to be brave son, make mistakes, live your life to the fullest and never look back because when you fall I will always be there to catch you.
There’s so much more that I could say but just know at the end of the day I will always love you more than you will ever know. I can’t wait to spend many more birthdays with you and I hope that mommy can make your special day one to remember.
Happy 1st Birthday DeMarcus Bryson.
Love, Mama